“Why aren’t you running Atacama?”

It’s October 8, 2023 and I’m standing on the sideline of the Chicago marathon, ready to spend the day losing my voice and shooting confetti cannons as my friends run by.

In the weeks leading up to the race, I dug into the preparation as much as I could while balancing the rest of my life.

I would be lying if I told you I felt fully prepared and ready for this race. I was excited. I was as ready as I could have been. But I was also really nervous. Despite trying to rest a lot in the weeks leading up to the race, I had felt exhausted and couldn’t pinpoint why. A lingering cold? Stress? Overtraining into an aggressive taper? Who knows. When we landed in Chile, those feelings got pushed to the back of my mind.

The start was filled with nervous energy. All 7 of us arrived & we sang Nicki happy birthday before running off into the dark morning. I settled into my planned pace & quickly lost sight of the other runners as they ran into the distance.

It was just before sunrise on Tuesday. I’d been running for a little over 24 hours but had been nauseous since about 8:30 pm. I was frustrated with my stomach, especially because my legs felt great. I wanted to run but running requires calories, & I was not doing well in that department.

“It’s a new day.” I said to myself as I headed up a hill into the darkness. I had run 91 miles the first day and only 60 miles the second day. I was well behind my planned mileage. This was a moment for me to really lean into what my strength bracelets represent: positivity & problem solving.

Thursday began in the dark, running for 4 mins and walking for 1 min, with Caleb timing us by Taylor Swift songs. At some point, we realized it was not just Thursday but also Thanksgiving, which felt appropriate because I couldn’t have felt more thankful than I did in that moment for Caleb’s companionship on this climb and for Claire’s driving, cooking, & organizing.

I woke up from the hour long nap extremely disoriented and tried to get moving as quickly as possible. I had about 50 km (30 mi) left in the race and I was ready to be done.

I continued the long, slow climb towards the peak as the sun rose. The views were breathtaking; 360 degrees of mountains with nothing else in sight. I ran for portions of whatever songs were playing in my headphones, walking when they slowed down or ended. At some point, I realized that I was falling asleep mid-stride and waking up as my foot hit the ground. I radioed for Caleb & Claire, hoping to get some food and a nap the next time I saw them.